More breaking news from Britain!

As if you didn't still have the taste of bubble and squeak lingering in your mouth from all the royal baby coverage, Britain keeps the hits coming today!  Now Tory Prime Minister David Cameron wants to censor pornography on the internet.

I realize Britain is a smaller country and not a federation like the United States.  I realize that issues that would be reserved to the states here and could not make it to the federal level in Washington can still be a topic of debate in London.  Still, it leaves me scratching my head over why the leader of the government of a G8 country would actually dedicate time to filtering the beat banks of his constituents.  Sorry.  "Wank banks".

Child pornography as well as pornography depicting rape should of course be outlawed and their producers shut down and arrested.  I wholeheartedly agree with Cameron on that part of his crusade.  However, aside from some bogus Focus on the Family moral argument, there really is no legitimate reason for a national leader to be engaged in a quest to censor sexually explicit content made for adults by adults.

As an American, however, I will say that I am a little relieved.  David Cameron is showing the world the ancestral homeland of American Puritanism and "family values" horse shit: England.

In honor of the Royal Baby

Right now, America and the whole world seem to be paying more attention to Kate Middleton's dilating cervix than even her own personal team of medical professionals. The fixation is disgusting.  For one thing, this is a private moment for Kate and her follicularly challenged prince. For another, the fixation itself is demonstrative of just how out of whack people's news priorities are.

So in honor of the world'st most watched fetus, here is a brief list of real fucking news stories and issues that are of more importance than the birth of a child to a couple thousands of miles away whom you will never ever meet.  None of the following is in any particular order.

International:

• Famine
• AIDS
• Climate change
• Desertification 
• Overpopulation
• Air pollution
• Access to clean drinking water
• Mass fucking starvation

Domestic (US):

• Corporate corruption of the entire political process
• Seizure of private property through eminent domain by private energy corporations
• Healthcare reform (ACA is only a first step)
• Corruption and conflicts of interest on the Supreme Court
• Wholesale purchasing of statehouses by ALEC
• Crumbling infrastructure
• Soaring youth unemployment
• Degradation of workers' rights

Or, if you want to stop thinking about any of these things, or even never begin thinking about them to begin with, enjoy your Royal Baby.

BBC World News

Home sweet home

As if the proposed Keystone XL pipeline across America and the fracking disasters above the Marcellus Shale weren't enough for the people and land of this country to tolerate, there is more bad news.  Large corporations have proposed pipelines and power lines which they would like to extend across the landscape, and even across your yard.

Closest to home here, one company is seeking to use an already laid pipeline, reverse the direction of its flow, and send Canadian tar sands through it from Montreal to Portland, Maine.  Of course the trouble is that while the pipeline already exists, tar sands are full of, well, sands, meaning that the new river of petroleum in the raw would be full of abrasive rock, scratching at the sides of the pipeline, wearing it down and bringing it ever closer to springing a leak.  Of course, while they would love to use the pipeline, the company has not sought to reinforce it.

Equally close to home is again another Canadian company, Hydro-Quebec, which is pursuing a massive land grab across beautiful stretches of northern New England so that it may bring its electricity from Quebec into the New England states.  This unfortunately means dragging high tension wires across family farms and mountain tops.  For those of you not familiar with the region, picture your desktop background or your fall time screen saver, then imagine it carved in two with massive high tension wires across your view.  Not so relaxing now, is it? 

Think I am being melodramatic here my fellow American?  Do a quick Google search of "Hydro-Quebec" AND "Cree Nation". 

At least in the case of Hydro-Quebec, the private corporation in question is offering to buy family farms one by one.  In Vermont, Vermont Gas, another energy company, is looking to extend a gas pipeline through part of the state, under one of the nation's larger lakes, and into New York State.  And how do they propose doing it?   I mean, not the construction, but the legalities, the real estate transactions?  Apparently, they are applying for a "Certificate of Public Good" so that they may use the state's sovereign power of eminent domain to seize people's property interests (namely the right of exclusive possession) and build their pipeline across their farm or their yard. 

To avoid delving into a lengthy explanation wrought with legalese, I will simply put it in the following terms: if this private company obtains this certificate, wants to extend its property through your home, and you do not consent, tough shit.  They apparently can apply to obtain that "right".

This is a touchy and indeed touching subject.  Anyone who ever took a middle school civics class learned at some point about eminent domain, which is to say, taking for the public good.  If the government needed to build a road for all of us to use, and your land were in the way, they could take what they needed, and pay you the value of what they took.  Of course now even before this Vermont Gas story, the Supreme Court took an extremely broad view of the term "public use" (or was it public good?) when it ruled that the government could take private property and give it to a private corporation, as long as it deemed that seizure and redistribution to be for the greater good.  Apparently your family isn't doing much good, so we'll need to take your land and give it to some real job creators! 

Whether you are young or old, rich or poor, renter or owner, this all should have you very concerned.  We are now living at a time when corporations are once again apparently able to apply for (or buy?) a governmental power, and use it take and destroy one's own family home.  I say again since this all smacks of the rampant abuses of railroad companies some hundred-and-fifty or so years ago.  So regardless of what your living situation is, stay informed and speak up for yourself and for your neighbors.  If we do not work together to litigate in the court of public opinion, we have no hope.  We already know what the Supreme Court has said about taking your home. 

Double our rate today

If you are lucky enough to not have any outstanding student debt, you may have missed today's news and what it means for millions of us.  Even if you are part of our unfortunate lot, you may have missed it.  Today is, however, the day on which student loan rates are set to double if Congress does not act, which in light of the laughable members of which it is comprised, is about as likely as the world ending before dinner.

Two articles are out today worth a quick read, despite their questionable publications of origin.  One is by Joan Walsh of Salon, while the other appeared in USA Today online and was shared via social media by Senator Bernie Sanders' staff.  Both are sobering to say the least, and to be quite frank, I would actually discourage you from reading either one of them if you feel as though your emotional and mental health are anything short of rock solid these days.

The hard truth is that the numbers do not lie, and a college degree - especially an undergraduate degree - may not even be worth it anymore.  This of course flies in the face of the past few decades' conventional wisdom.  Young people have been told for years things like "it will all be worth it in the end" and "it's an investment".  That may have been honest advice when the debt assumed in undertaking one's studies was under five digits and the lifelong benefits were measured by almost exponential gains in income.  Now, and indeed for some years leading up to now, this "investment" argument has become disingenuous, as debt burdens have creeped into the tens and hundreds of thousands of dollars while the increases in lifelong earning potential have stagnated.  What was sound advice for students of the past became something akin to fraudulent inducement.

I will not launch into a preemptive rebuttal of the obnoxious "personal responsibility" argument today, as I am about as short on time as I am on money.  I will say, however, that if we truly had a meritocratic system of education in America, this would not even be an issue.  Instead, we have a system where the hard workers have to not only work hard, but also go into debt, all while a lucky few are given an education, whether they work for it or not.

Bear in mind also that this is not typical debt.  It can no longer be discharged in bankruptcy, and very often cannot be refinanced.  Your wages can be garnished, you can be harassed, and you have little if any recourse for any injury you suffer.  Your lender can sell your debt away and force you to deal with another party with whom you never had an agreement, but try to tell them you have sold your end of the deal to a third party and see what happens.  This is the the closest thing we have to indenture in the modern era.

If any of this has made you feel compelled to give your Representative on Capitol Hill a piece of your mind, you can find all the contact info you need here.  Best of luck.

Pardon the absence

Well hello there.  Long time no see.

I want to apologize for my absence this past month.  Life has been hectic to put it mildly.  However, perhaps even more important to explain my absence is the fact that I am temporarily living in a place with sporadic access to the internet.  Oh, and the fact that all of my writing time has been devoted to a book I am working on.

Anyhoo, I will still try to write here as much as possible, though it may be with decreased frequency.  After working on a book and going to an actual job, it really can be a struggle to upload content here, especially when it often needs to be from my phone or through one of those dinky wireless internet USB cards.

No worries though.  There will be more to come soon.

The Entitlement Generations

We have all heard candidates and office holders rail against so-called "entitlements".  We have all heard debates about these "entitlements".  We now even hear pundits, moderators, and journalists use this famed GOP buzzword to refer to many programs to which citizens contribute by paying into them money which they earn by working.  Entitlements indeed!

We have also heard the youngest generation of adults - meaning those in their twenties and perhaps a bit older - referred to as an "entitled" generation, one that whines about the lack of opportunities today and one which feels as though it is entitled to something better than a $10/hr job after obtaining a degree or two.  We hear that that same generation moves back in with its parents, has no aspirations, and wants things handed to them.

Really? Is that what is happening?  Let's look at some facts.

When the housing bubble burst and the markets tanked under  George W. Bush, during  the 2008 campaign, and before  the 2009 inauguration, some one who is 25 years old today would have been an undergraduate in college.  Now, if you want to look more at the culture of greed and corruption that lead to this whole mess, another big marker was the Enron scandal of 2001.  At that time, the same 25 year old would have been, at best, 13.  Finally, if you want to look at the advent of the culture of "greed is good" and "government is the problem" which has brought us to this golden era in our political and economic history, you would have to look at the Patron Saint of Specious Arguments and Rewritten History, Ronald Reagan.  Some one who is 25 today would have been born, most likely in the last year of Reagan's two-term presidency.

Add five or even ten years of age to the hypothetical person above to see where a 30 or 35 year old today would have been at these times, and you will see that young adults - and even young-ish adults, had literally nothing to do with the mess we are in today.  They just are in the enviable position of having to enter their theoretically most productive years of life during its aftermath and cleanup.  Suddenly the pessimism and living with the parents has a different context.

Now let's look at the people who caused the mess, sat by and were complacent during the mess making, and/or now get paid to comment on the mess.  While we're at it, let's look at the people who, though private individuals who never have been on television news shows, feel compelled to give unsolicited and condescending advice to those younger than them.  Let's look at them all.  And since no feelings were spared by the individuals at whom we are now looking, none will be spared here.

For those who contributed to - and indeed now professionally comment on the current economic mess - there really is not much to say that has not already been said.  Matt Taibbi has given us more research, analysis, and eloquence in his take downs of the excesses of Wall Street and the culture of corruption than I could ever dream of doing, and for that I am grateful.  What I will say is simply this: these few elite individuals are disgusting, have caused  the citizenry's faith in the federal government and private institutions to fall to the lowest levels in a century, and would be in prison if federal laws were not tailored to their socio-economic class.  Permitting them to continue their reckless behavior in the financial sector and to allow their accomplices to comment on the matter on nationwide news and opinion shows only adds insult to injury.

For the regular people of the two generations preceding the dubiously dubbed "millenials", there are some very simple facts which are all too often ignored and which we can ill afford to forget.  Because of this forgetfulness and/or ignorance, discussions are frequently far off center and miss the point.  To be absolutely clear, these are often individuals who had nothing to do with the creation of this economic mess.  However, they have availed themselves of every possible benefit the economic system and the federal government have to offer, and have then rebuked their children and grandchildren from hoping to do the same.  This begs for a rebuttal. 

First, if we are to use the current definition of "entitled" as enjoying government programs and services meant to better the lives of individuals and families, the people who enjoyed life between the end of World War II and the "Reagan Revolution" have been the absolutely most entitled people in American history.  Period.  No wait, correction: the white people who enjoyed life during that time enjoyed more government benefits than any other generation in American history.  Selective use of the G.I. Bill and discriminatory housing practices made damn sure it was those generations of white people who benefited. The same people who rail against "immigrants" or "the poor" or "these young people" in news site comment sections and on national television opinion shows are the same who had their lives, from birth to retirement, from public education to pension, planned and provided for them.

These are the people who, though employed at a grocery store or public utility, came to own real estate (don't understand the reason for my emphasis? Google the terms "feudalism", "Gilded Age", "Railroad Company" among others to see how land and property had previously been divided and handled)! How did these common citizens come to such great fortune? Hard work?  Well, in part, sure! They showed up and worked every day.  Then again, so did a miner fifty years before then and so does a Wal-Mart employee now.  Neither is a landowner for sure.  So how did the shopkeeper or electrician come to own a house after 1945?  How did little one-family houses pop up by the millions across the country? Answer: government programs like the FHA, the hands-on extensions of an overarching federal policy of homeownership set in place after the Second World War.

Homeownership was not the only government-backed and (at least partially) government-funded policy enacted for the public good after World War II.  Public education was still actually publicly funded, even at the university level and brand-spankin' new superhighways were built across the United States.  What was amazing about all of these was that they were open for everyone to use - and indeed almost everyone did, even those who say they did everything for themselves.

It is against this backdrop that two generations built lives, raised families, and acquired wealth.  It is thanks to this government foundation that they were able to build their personal and professional successes.  And though I am sure millions of people felt like they were given nothing and were going it all alone when they spent weeks pounding the pavement looking for their first job or searching for their big break, they must remember that there was at least fresh, new, even pavement to pound in the first place.  They were not hitting the now-proverbial, once-very-real dusty trail, nor were they tripping over the potholes and frost heaves of our crumbling infrastructure as we would do today.

I write this not to bash an entire generation or two, not do I do it to slam an entire social class.  Far from it.  I write this to expose, in very plain terms, the hypocrisy of certain individuals and groups within the past couple of generations.  They do not comprise the entirety or the majority, however, their numbers are great enough that they attract a great deal of attention.

So the next time you see a harsh comment on a news story, hear an ageist critique on television, or endure a snide remark made in person, do not get angry, and do not dispair.  Rather, just remind yourself that the person making such remarks is in possession of an incredible lack of perspective, and has little to no grasp of modern - or even personal - history.  Take comfort in this fact, and realize that nothing you can say or write will change it. 

Take a deep breath, and move on.

Legal lunacy

This is a scary story I just saw being shared on social media this afternoon.  The Supreme Court has apparently ruled yet again in favor of Monsanto, the corporation which sued a farmer for planting second generation seeds, some of which were descendants of their patented crop.  To hear the farmer's attorneys tell his side of the story, it went a little something like this:

"...he bought some ordinary soybeans from a small grain elevator where local farmers drop off their harvest. ... He knew that these beans probably had Monsanto's Roundup Ready gene in them, because that's mainly what farmers plant these days. But Bowman didn't think Monsanto controlled these soybeans anymore..."

Aside from rendering me hopelessly angry, this article also reminded me of a sobering conversation I had a year ago with a good friend of mine.  We talked about how, especially after the dreadful Citizen's United decision, the center really began to bottom out in this country's political culture, and that for the first time in either one of our lifetimes, the left and right in this country began to sing the same tune - not about the economy, immigration, or issues of race - but about their feelings toward the increasingly callous and distant federal government in Washington.  We both saw that people from opposite ends of the political spectrum agreed that it is now often difficult to defend the legitimacy of the federal government's institutions when they will rationalize anything to suit an agenda, especially when that agenda always puts the public good in second place.  Perhaps no institution is more guilty of this right now than the Supreme Court. Looking to examples such as the State of Montana enforcing their own election laws despite Supreme Court rulings (taking a you-and-what-army? approach) we agreed that the ramifications of the federal government undercutting its own democratic legitimacy could take years to come to fruition, but could be quite frightening in their intensity and scope.

To be clear, we discussed things we observed and our fears regarding their logical outcomes.  We did not discuss things we desired to see occur.

This particular story is just one of many in recent history in which a corporate entity could take what it wanted with the government's blessing, and it is still unclear how much farther these absurd decisions will go.  For that matter, it is unclear how much farther I could go in writing this, but I will stop now so that you may read the actual news story in question.  I just hope that in the meantime Mick Jagger doesn't drag me to the Supreme Court because I bought Goats Head Soup used from the record store when I was in high school.   

Nerd Prom

So in case you weren't at home to watch the White House Correspondents Dinner last night, or, like me, you don't have TV, here are the videos from C-SPAN, including the "House of Cards" spoof everyone is talking about.

While not the best ever, this dinner, like (almost) all of them, was hilarious.  Perhaps my favorite thing about the broadcast was not even the jokes themselves, but the fact that C-SPAN actually included the Nerd Prom hashtag (#nerdprom) on their graphics.  Its' nice to know in this age of technologically-induced informality and potentially-false perception of familiarity that cable's national government access channel is reaching out to all of us young civics nerds.  All twelve of us.


The "House of Cards" bit:




President Obama:




Conan O'Brien:

Springtime fun

Well, it really can't be all work and no play, though there are some that would consider a full day of intense yard work, well, work.  Still, it's hard to look at the results of this and feel that this was not at least some fun.

Of course, even if it is all work, there is the well-earned barbeque afterwards.  Yes, that is a chicken walking by.  At this point, she's just thankful to not be her cousin.

And how to you make a barbeque wicked New England?  Add in some maple!

 

Video: Colbert on the debunking of austerity

I can only do so much Colbert Report.  Honestly, I think the show really is a hit-or-miss, where the comedy in a given episode is either insightful and incisive, or incredibly blunt, and therefore tiresome.  This, however, is not just a great comedy clip; it's great news.

The Harvard "study" used to back austerity plans the world over has been debunked - and by a University of Massachusetts at Amherst (UMass) economics grad student.  This is awesome on so many levels.  Take a look:

The Colbert Report
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Elitism in America

From the time we take our first U.S. History or American Civics courses (if they even still teach those) we are instilled with the idea that America is an inherently classless society.  We learn that American culture, spawned from a violent rupture with the past and cultivated in the soils of a new continent, is simply too informal and modern in its nature to possess any entrenched class distinctions.  We learn this as though it is a given, something which cannot and need not be analyzed, and which is an inherently positive characteristic upon which so many of this country's successes have been built.

In our daily lives, however, there is still very much a struggle against elitism.  It is ubiquitous, and is indeed inherent to our present-day culture.  This fact has been brought to the forefront in recent years after very decisive election outcomes, however it is not that new.  Whether it a younger sibling ranting about the excesses of the "rich kids" at school, or a grandparent scornfully rejecting a product because they don't buy "nuthin' fancy", the tension is ever-present under the surface.  It is quite clear that the rupture with the past alluded to above may have not been as decisive as many would believe.

This points to one silent, underlying fact which American people of all backgrounds take for granted: that there is and always been elitism in one form or another.  True, hereditary nobility has been abolished, we do not have feudal lords reigning over entire counties or states, but then again, none of these antiquated signs of largess are even necessary prerequisites for elitism in the modern era.  The Industrial Revolution and its legacy have long since transferred the bulk of society's wealth out of real estate and into personal property.

None of this is news, nor is it truly insightful to note any of it. What is important to note, however, is how elitism in America is cleaved in two, with one form admired and revered, with the other scorned and hated.  This is what is truly interesting.

Elitism in the form of measurable wealth is adored and aspired to in America in a way which is perhaps unique on Earth.  When some one here makes a name for his or herself by way of conspicuous consumption, a lavish lifestyle, and often the outsourcing of work to an impoverished country, their business isn't nationalized.  Protests are not held outside of their mansions.  Hell!  At this point, few people find it even politically feasible to have such individuals (who are very few in number) pay their fair share in income tax!  No, instead we give them a TV show and a photo op with the President of the United States.  Now that degree of deference, reverence, and admiration is truly unique.  Even in other developed, mixed-market economies, the view of the rich is a much more critical and skeptical one.

It is astounding that so many Americans see the abuses and excesses not as crimes out of which the super-rich buy themselves, but merely as earned privileges which they themselves would exercise should they ever attain the same level of wealth.  Many of us whose families have been in the United States for at least three generations are the very descendants of the impoverished, malnourished workers who wasted their lives away under the Rockefellers and the Carnegies.  Yet too many of us dream not of profiting from our own work and genius, but of becoming the next mogul.

There is, of course, another phenomenon other than the possession of material wealth which is deemed a form of elitism in the United States, and that is education.  Education, in stark contrast, is not revered and aspired to in the United States as is the acquisition of material wealth.  No, this is the despised and distrusted form of elitism.  Professors who are the veritable experts in their field of research are disregarded as being out-of-touch elitists.  Writers who take on the often unsavory task of holding up a mirror to society have their insights pushed to the side by those who would use that writer's very credentials to disqualify him or her.  And scientists, the people responsible for your comfortable standard of living and lengthy life expectancy, are subjected to 15th century-style charges of blasphemy and heresy.

So while true elitism - the kind of elitism that can allow a person to buy himself or herself out of the very struggle and suffering inherent to the human experience - is aspired to and respected, the honest pursuit of bettering oneself through education is viewed as tricky and dishonest, something to be the subject of scorn.

Part of me would like to view this curious split as an accident of history or perhaps a cultural quirk, that perhaps an entire culture misdirects its distrust of one powerful group of individuals toward a less powerful yet still, relatively speaking, elitist group.  I cannot, however, leave it at that.

It appears, rather, that the true elites - those who amass wealth and do so frequently without earning it - enjoy and profit from the misconception that the educated and critical are the ones to distrust and despise.  I would even dare say that they perpetuate this misconception for their own personal gain.  Why wouldn't they?!  If taking all the resources without earning them is threatening to the people, then the people should be opposed to it.  But the people must have knowledge and be capable of critical thinking in order to perceive that threat and react to it appropriately.  So how can this reaction be stopped?  Convince the people that knowledge and critical thought are the true threats, that the protection is in fact the danger and the danger the protection.

Of course, this cannot be the case every single time.  To say that it were would be to claim that all social interactions are controlled and predetermined, which is of course absurd.  What is far more likely is that the distrust of education - for whatever reason, whether because of its social implications, its tendencies toward complication and entropy - is a facet of an American culture which seeks at least a semblance of honesty and simplicity.  What is just as likely is that this cultural facet is honed in on and taken advantage of for the purpose of pushing the proverbial needle in one direction by a group or groups in order to suit their own objectives.

The next few years will reveal to what extent American society will engage in uncomfortable discussions about wealth and class in order to move its policies back (yes, back!) to ones which favor the middle class and nation as a whole.  I remain doubtful, however, about any significant progress being made until we look at the cultural underpinnings of our political views on wealth and class in America, which is to say, until we look at the way we look at this topic in our everyday lives.

There will be no rant on Boston

This post is more of a notice than anything else, and is something I feel obliged to write before adding anything else.  What I want to tell the people who are gracious enough to read my material is this: there will be no rambling, verbose rant on last week's events in Boston.

Last week was incredibly stressful.  I was lucky enough to be far away from danger, but I had family members who missed the violence at Copley by a matter of minutes.  My fiancée and my some of my friends were also in Boston.  Luckily, all of them were safe and my fiancée was able to get out of town before the lockdown on Friday.

Almost everyone with any sort of social media account, blog, or other means of opining online has posted something regarding the actual explosion at the finish line, the lockdown, the use of force, the treatment of the surviving suspect, Miranda warnings, or some other topic relating to this hellish week in Boston.  I will not join them.  For one, everything was a bit too close to home.  For another, no one - and I mean no one - has any perspective yet on what has happened.  The blood has only just been pressure washed off the sidewalks of Boylston St. and the prosecution of the bomber has not even yet begun.  Only with the passage of time, the analysis of the crime scene, and the trial of the surviving suspect will we be able to decipher last week's events.

I will stop myself now before this ends up being the rant I decided not to write.  I will close with one request though: please, do not create, incite, or contribute to any conspiracy theories at this time.  To those who could not resist doing so while the drama was ongoing, consider taking a step back for a moment.  This I ask not out of my own annoyance, but out of respect for those whose friends and family were not as lucky as my own last week.

View from the office

It is pretty damn hard to get too stressed at work when this is the view from the path behind the office.  When it is warmer - and a lot less windy - I would love to find a way to park an Adirondack chair right here and do my work against this backdrop.

Maybe if I fitted the armrests with a cupholder and swing-out desk...

Flashback

So it is the first week of April.  I am back in Western Mass.  And when I was out early this morning, it started snowing!  In April!  This can only mean one thing: I am stuck in a timewarp, I am eleven or so years old, and I am now very, very late for school.

That was the last time this happened.  In fact, back then the snow was even worse.  It was April 1, I was in fifth grade, and my classmates and I all missed April Fool's Day at school because we woke up to so much snow, no one would have been able to have made it in that morning.  Instead, we all drank hot chocolate and went sledding all day.

In fact, never mind.  That was freaking awesome.  Yay April snow!

Technical difficulties

Those of you who have wandered onto this state-of-the-art blog more than once may have noticed recently that the banner has been, well, downgraded. This was not by choice, and believe me, it will be returned to normal as soon as possible.  The fact is, this downgrade is due to a technical error which has been beyond my control thus far.

A week or two ago, after neglecting this reputable source of rants and raves for a short time, a gentleman asked me to show him the page.  When I attempted to load it, every graphic was missing and was replaced by an image resembling a stop sign of the European roadway persuasion.  Needless to say, I was a bit peeved.

Now luckily, it was easy to replace the wallpaper.  A clip of the same plaid, a few minutes on MS paint, and there it was, re-plastered in all its lumberjackian glory.  The same could not be said for my banner, which was a custom made labor of love.  What's more, the file needed to reinstate that illustrious graphic is stored in a computer 100 miles away - and I thought I had kept a copy on my laptop this whole time!  Now the one presently featured is merely an impromptu quick-fix, the result of a prototype image contained on my laptop's hard drive, reworked and fudged to fit into the blog's otherwise vacant heading.

Sadly, resetting the appearance of this blog to its former glory is outside of my control for at least another week or two.  In the meantime, thank you for bearing with me and settling for marginally adequate writing with entirely inadequate and obviously-zero-budget graphics.

If anyone out there has had this or a similar experience with blogger, please let me know.  I'd love to know why this happened and if there is a quick fix.  Really.  The whole incident just seems rather rude considering the $0 and few hours per month I spend here.

A Geographically amusing photograph

This was not of own making - and it certainly was not intentional as far as I know.  But am I the only one who sees that this superfluous piece of scratch paper bears a striking resemblance to the state of Utah?

Well, this was too great of a coincidence to not share it with the world.  Have a great day everyone and enjoy the spring weather!

Of dogs and leashes

This is Cupid.  She is just over three years old.  She is a half Beagle, half Dachshund mix.  She has a memory like a steel trap, the biggest personality (in a very small size) and an amazing hound dog howl.  She is fiercely loyal, and cannot bear to spend a night without cuddling with one of us.

She was also almost brutally killed last Thursday.

Like every other day, I leashed up Cupid with her red leash and harness.  At the sight of her matching set, she howled up in the air as if to announce the exciting beginning of the fox hunt, and after jumping into her harness, she led me out the door and down the road. 

Our walk was relaxing and proceeded without incident, until we approached a house at the end of the road.  A large dog leaped out of the front door almost without warning.  Just a second later, a young woman exited the same door.  I called to her, asking her to call off her dog.  Unfortunately, she replied with the same line I have heard far too many times: "He's fine!"  I started to walk the other way to avoid the dog and respect what he perceived to be his territory.  Still, the young woman did nothing.  What was to ensue was simply horrifying.

The dog jumped Cupid, picking her up into the air in one swift movement.  He pierced her ear and the side of her neck with his fangs and violently shook her from side-to-side, attempting to break her neck under the weight of her own body.  The entire attack was so fast it was almost a blur.  I kicked the attacking dog once in the ribs - entirely ineffective as he was already moving in the same direction as my foot.  I screamed at him to break his concentration, which also failed.  Luckily, almost soon as the attack started, the same young woman came from behind the dog and pulled him away as my dog was thrown into the dirt, looking into my eyes while howling and screaming in agonizing pain. I fear that if the attack lasted a half second (or one thrash) longer, little Cupid's neck would have snapped.  To be completely honest, I am still astonished I did not spend Thursday night burying her. 

.  .  .

Unfortunately, this is far from an isolated incident.  In fact, the only thing that makes it unique is the violent extremes to which another dog went in its attack.  You see, almost every single time I walk my dog, we are both confronted by other dogs whose owners have refused to keep them on a leash, despite being in public areas which demand the leashing of dogs at all times.  Every single time, I hear the same refrain from the owner: "He's fine!"  At least half of those times, he is very much not fine.

It has become an absurdity how often I am left to fend for myself as I break up dog fights initiated by an animal owned by a complete stranger.  What is just as absurd is how often other dog owners become angry with me over my frustration with them and their out-of-control dog.  I was even once told, "Geez, he's a nice dog!"  Niceness is not something I think about when a pair of fangs is just inches from my femoral artery.

Regardless of where you stand on the ridiculous should-you-leash-your-dog debate, the simple fact remains that anyone, whether with a dog or by his or herself, has the right to walk in a public place without being assaulted.  Period.  If a human were to jump you on a sidewalk or trail, you would promptly find an officer of the law and have that individual arrested.  Still, many dog owners do not see the parallel, and they allow their dogs to run ahead and jump other people or their dogs.  I am very much a dog person, but it is never my responsibility to control your dog.  It is yours.

This attack is also unique in that for me, it is the absolute last straw.  It was bad enough having to be worried about being jumped by out-of-control dogs, but now my own dog was almost killed, and the long-term extent of her spinal injuries have yet to be determined.  I used to half-joke that I would stop worrying and the next time we are assaulted, I would just sue the owner whose dog drew first blood - especially if the blood were my own.  I now have a different approach.  Now I walk with a heavy, sturdy walking stick - and not just because the uneven terrain of the hills and woods is my favorite place to walk.

Of course, I would rather not ever have to resort to self-defense.  I would rather that other people simply follow the law and local municipal ordinances.

.  .  .

If you have a dog, or have friends who do, please see to it that they are leashed.  Everyone's dog is a good dog who would never be violent - that is never to its own family. And lest you think I am whining about nothing or that I am being melodramatic in my plea here, scroll back up and look at Cupid.  Now imagine a large dog who was "fine" and who was "friendly" - and who was trying to tear off one of those ears and snap her neck in mid-air.

That was my Thursday afternoon walk.

Snow in March

So this is it!  It is already mid/late March, officially spring, and this is what it is looking like in New England.  I do love winter, but this is a bit much considering it will be April in a little over a week.

One thing is for sure: I take back any complaining I did at the beginning of this winter for there being a lack of snow.  Winter may have come a little late this time around, but once it arrived, it did indeed make itself comfortable.

Maple syrup addiction: an international crisis

This is why I cannot make fun of Canada.  As a New Englander, I really, truly feel I do not have a leg on which to stand.  How could I?  Snow, beaches with water too cold to swim in, aaaaaand this:

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
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To be completely honest, if I didn't get so damn hypoglycemic, I would drink the stuff straight from the bottle, put it in my coffee, and pour it all over every meal, three meals a day.  For that matter, my life will not be complete until I distill from the sacred maple tree a beverage all my own - preferably at or above 7% ABV.

Winter beauty

This is why I absolutely love winter.  Not an arctic winter, not a plains winter, but a true, beautiful New England winter.  This is what life itself should look like.

In case you disagree, try the following.  Click on the photo above, maximize it on your screen if you can, and look at it.  Really look at it.  Now try to be anxious or stressed.  Try!  You can't! 

Now you don't need to get up and go to that yoga class.  You're welcome.

Another storm coming

Another storm is fast approaching the Northeast.  It is set to begin Saturday night, with some areas seeing a foot of accumulation by the next afternoon.

Although this could not come at a more inconvenient time for me, I still accept and appreciate it.  It is what makes this season unique, and it is an important feature of this little part of the world.  Unfortunately, not everyone shares this feeling.

For those ignorant enough to wait for and indeed embrace global climate change as a great thing that will turn Vermont into Venezuela, Massachusetts into Miami, and Connecticut into Cancun, I have a suggestion:  don't wait!  Book your flights in advance, get to that great infernal weather sooner, and save some money!  Below are some rates from Priceline.

That's right!  Stop your complaining, stop wishing winter would disappear, and instead make yourself disappear!  It is much easier to do, and indeed it is much easier on my ears. 

So now that I have done you the favor of conveying this precious information, please do me a solid and stop your incessant whining.  No one has hogtied you and forced you to sit through winter after winter.  If you are a US citizen, you have the right to live in or at least visit damn near every biome known to humankind. I'd suggest you take advantage of that fact.

You may of course also simply ignore me.  Feel free to do so.  But please be advised that I will feel equally free to walk away from you unannounced, mid-conversation, the next time you subject me to your childish bellyaching.  Have a great weekend!

Follow up on New England Accents

Remember the post on New England accents from several weeks back?  Well, this person, who at the time was actually writing a thesis on the subject, has done a much better job of dissecting all of the region's accents, variations of accents, etc.  I must give credit where it is due, and believe me, it is due here. 

Now of course this other person's bit is much more academic and a lot less humorous, but it is still worth a read if you get a second.  He takes a look at the history of the accents, where they are geographically centered, and how one of them (New Hampshire) is declining.  It is in no way the anecdote-filled page of jokes which I have written on the subject, but it is engrossing in its own right.

On a side-note, I love the fact that the photo he has in his post is actually a view from Mt. Sugarloaf, a five-minute drive from my family's place. 

Word of the Day

Today's Word of the Day is:

Whogivesashit? (interj.)

What any reasonable person feels absolutely compelled to exclaim whenever confronted with irrelevant and sensationalist news stories such as:
-the famous amputee runner who killed his girlfriend thousands of miles from here
-the naked art exhibit in Vienna (Seriously, it's in Austria. Is anyone surprised?)
-the dude who put a couch in his igloo (Who hasn't thought about doing that after being snowed in for days and killing a case of beer?)

VIDEO: Greatest late night clip ever

Take a look at this amazing clip of Louis C.K. from The Tonight Show.  Louis gives some great insight - as always - into American history, the legacy of slavery, and our present-day social issues.



My absolute favorite thing about this?  The fact that he corrects people's misconception of history and utter lack of time frame.  It drives me crazy to hear discussions of modern history as if it were ancient Egypt.  This doesn't just apply to slavery and its ugly legacy.  No no.  Relatively few people truly understand and appreciate that the world of fast cars, telecommunications, and modern medicine in which we now live only came into existence within one human lifetime.  One human lifetime before that and - well, Louis said it.  You're back at the end of slavery.  Need some more perspective?  This was the United States and the world only 50 years ago.  And for those of you who are young like me, that was only 20ish years before we were born.  I guess what I'm saying is this was recent.

The other great thing?  The fact that a fellow white guy said it - and without an agenda or a nauseatingly predictable admission of prefabricated guilt.  He just laid the truth out there - albeit with a few laughs - and let the public deal with it.   Hopefully it will do a little something to bring people closer together and closer to the truth.  And thank you Louis for making this white guy feel not so all alone in his view of the world.

Thanks to Deepa Kunapuli at UPWORTHY for finding the Louis C.K. clip.

BLASPHEMY!

This is simply outrageous. Who honestly drinks this stuff? And to shovel snow after a Nor'Easter?

There is one acceptable time to drink beers in the Corona/bottled sporting water category: while working outdoors during a heatwave. This exception only even exists because of such brews' rehydrating effect. And when do we drink things with weird additives in them? You guessed it. Never!

Ok I'm of my soapbox - err - beer box. Enjoy your day!

An open letter to Victoria's Secret

I've wanted to write an open letter to Victoria's Secret for years, but never quite found the right time, place, or medium.  I figured it was high time a heterosexual man lambasted them for their unabashed use of underweight models, their pedophilia-laced ad campaigns, and their general parasitic relationship with the personal insecurities of the women to whom they sell.

My urge to write peaked around the time of that hullabaloo surrounding certain television channels banning a Lane Bryant underwear commercial a few years back (because the model featured in it had real breasts and didn't starve herself - shhhh!) but again I never quite found the time.  Well, there's no time like the present, and though I have not watched tv literally in months (and therefore have not seen much of any commercials) this little rant somehow popped back into my head.  So here it is.  Enjoy it.


An Open Letter to Victoria's Secret

Dear V.S.,

It's time we had a little talk, man-to-whatever you are or represent.  You see, what you do is wrong, and you need to start changing your ways.  By all means, keep selling lacy underwear, holding fashion shows, and producing television commercials; that's all beside the point.  What you need to change is how you go about all of it.  If you want to keep making and selling women's underwear, start using women to market them.  And be nice about it while you're at it.

From what I see in your advertising, you have two target audiences: men to whom your models and product are meant to be attractive, and women who would like to be as appealing to men as the women in your commercials are and whom you would have believe could be so appealing by wearing your products.  Now that sounds like a win-win.  So what's the problem?  The models you employ to market your products are not always real women.  At best they are grown women who are abnormally underweight, at worst they are underaged girls or women whose faces and bodies possess child-like characteristics.

What does this all mean?  Well, it means that at best you are marketing eating disorders and the bodies they create, and that at worst you are using pedophilia as part of your marketing plan.  Either way, it's not pretty, and each part of the problem needs to be addressed in turn.

The Skinniness 

Everyone has different tastes.  Some men do like slender women, some prefer curvy, some like petite women, others go for the tall and lanky.  That's not a problem, in fact it's a great thing.  The issue is that your marketing would have us all believe that women with the average height of a man, the waistline of an early adolescent, and a torso flaunting more ribs than a Southern barbeque in summertime are the norm and should be expected.  Not only is there little to no diversity in the body types of your models, but in fact those models you do employ are all far outside the norm.  The result? The entire image and feel of your brand attempts to normalize the irregular and unrealistic, and it thereby shuns and marginalizes the true beauty inherent to the natural and diverse body of women in the real world.

About three years ago, Lane Bryant put together an ad for tv which featured a woman in lingerie.  Sounds like one of your ads, doesn't it?  What was different, though, was that this woman didn't look like she was molded out of plastic or was in need of UN food relief.  In spite of that - no, in fact because of that - she was absolutely gorgeous.  Here's the ad.  Go ahead, watch.  It's not long.




Now try to wipe up your drool.  Seriously.  I am sure your company and your admen especially think of you as the number one in marketing lingerie.  Numerically that may be true, but that is not to say you have nothing to learn from this ad.  You see, if you were a heterosexual man - and by this I mean a man who likes women and not pubescent girls - you would be secretly praying to whatever or whoever you believe in that you were Dan in that video clip.  You'd be thinking Dan was one lucky S.O.B.  And you'd be right.  Friggin Dan.

You know what is great about this ad too?  It features a beautiful woman in lingerie, without making the women watching the ad feel bad about their weight or their age.  And the model featured in it is neither fat nor old!!  How come your guys didn't think of that?  Call me crazy, but I think it may  have something to do with the fact that you all like playing to insecurities.  I think you even might have made your own market out of it, and damn if you haven't kept on cornering it.

The Girlyness

While preference in body types is a matter of taste, underage girls - and women who are hired specifically because they bear a striking resemblance to underage girls - are not and should not be a matter of taste.  Pedophilia is more or less illegal, though your company insists on using elements of it throughout your campaigns.  At first it was the policy - and do not tell me it was not a company policy - of hiring young women whose faces would have fooled the most discerning eye into believing the women were in fact children.  That was bad enough: marketing lingerie and bikinis with a child-like face above them.  And then you came out with your PINK brand.

PINK to me is perhaps the scariest thing in mainstream branding in all of America.  The unabashed melding of adolescent/scholastic and sexy/seductive themes is truly horrifying.  Do you remember that Jennifer Lopez movie The Cell from around ten or so years ago?  I didn't see it either, but I remember the premise: she goes inside the mind of a psycho killer.  Well, that's kind of how I would feel being inside one of your PINK stores: that I had delved into the mind of a pedophile.  The girly, childish casual attire interdispersed with adult underwear and provocative "athletic" wear.  The whole thing really is the perfect hypersexualization of a little girl's childhood bedroom.

I need a damn shower just having written that.

In all seriousness, this is a problem.  Even if you were to shut down your whole PINK line tomorrow - which I know you won't - the simple use of children or women who are intentionally chosen because of child-like features is wrong.  Why?  No lengthly explanation required here.  It is wrong because underneath it all, what you are selling is sex, and children and/or imitations of children have no role to play in any such sale.

In conclusion, try being a little more inclusive in your brand - except for the little girl crap.  That just needs to go.  Feature women from different backgrounds and of different shapes and sizes.   Who knows?!  You may even sell some of your products!

Now I am not saying that you need to de-sexualize your brand.  That's what people love, and I genuinely believe that while nine times out of ten women just need some underwear to throw on before getting dressed in the morning just like men, some women actually want to buy lingerie on occasion.  Sell it to them!  But don't include in the deal baggage about weight and size and age.  Nobody needs that. 

I am also not saying that you need to only feature thicker or even overweight models.  Far from it.  I do not think unhealthy weight on either end of the spectrum is something to be encouraged, and I do not believe any of us should do anything to make women who are naturally thin feel bad about themselves.  There is, however, a vastly diverse, amazingly beautiful and healthy medium from which to choose the representatives of your brand, and it is high time you start doing just that: making your brand more representative.  Not only could you whip up literally countless new ad campaigns to go along with the shift in company policy, but you might actually do something good for the world while turning a profit.  After all, isn't that the dream?

Anyhoo, I sincerely hope you found this letter to be informative and helpful, though I would be just as happy if it ticked you off and you never wrote back.  I am amused in such ways.  So yeah, I look forward to never hearing a reply from you, and have a great time shooting pictures of skeletons with baby faces and angel wings!


Sincerely,

A Heterosexual Man

Word of the Day

Well it looks as though we are a bit overdue for a Word of the Day, so here it goes:
Today's Word of the Day is:

Anhydrous (adj.)

1. Containing no water, especially no water of crystallization
2. Marco Rubio during his rebuttal to President Obama's State of the Union address

Etymology: 19th Century: from Greek anudros; see an-, hydro-

VIDEO: Marco Rubio and the thirsty rebuttal

In case you didn't see Marco Rubio's rebuttal to the State of the Union last night, here is his brief highlight.  It truly is hard to tell whether he was attempting to rebut the President's main policy points or shoot a quick, cheap video for his own personal YouTube channel.




I would offer further commentary, but why bother?  This  more than speaks for itself.

Big brother is watching you

Welcome to the future, where apparently no price is too high for a sleek, post-modern illusion of security. According to this BBC Travel article, all sorts of new, hi-tech Bourne-Identity-meets-1984 methods of screening passengers at US airports are already coming off the assembly line and in some cases are even being tried out on the population.

Two things immediately come to mind:

1.  If you try to defend freedom from those who would take it away with violence by eliminating it in the first place, doesn't that defeat the purpose of defending it?  Wouldn't that not only ensure that we are "letting the terrorists win", but that we are in fact handing them a form of victory and doing much of the work for them?  I am reminded of the famous Benjamin Franklin quote which everyone with a facebook account or collection of humorous t-shirts just adores: "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety"

2.  Some one is getting filthy fucking rich off of this.

The insanity continues

So apparently The Donald is now suing Bill Maher on a breach of contract theory for a rude joke he made on tv.  Think I'm kidding?!  It was the most read story today on Politico.

I sincerely hope The Donald's lawyers get dragged into chambers by their ears and chewed out for such a frivolous case.  I also hope this flaming, cellulose-based sack of canine excrement does not appear overleaf from Lucy v. Zehmer in future casebooks.

Sorry for the law school reference.  You can just google it and save yourself three years and a few hundred thousand dollars. 

Word of the Day

Today's Word of the Day is:

Liberal Agenda (n.)

The outrageous set of ideals which holds that people, regardless of complexion, genitalia, beliefs, or choice of bedtime buddy should more or less have a fair shot of making it in this world.  It is usually worded in this way by minimally persuasive individuals who would like to instill in the minds of listeners that these ideals form an agenda - by which they mean ulterior motive - to infiltrate and destroy the good ol' US of A.

Ex:

Did you see that comedian on TV last night? He was hilarious!
Na.  All they do on TV is push that liberal agenda on us.

On the origin of the White Man Overbite

A few weeks ago, I arrived at my family's house just in time for a friendly local winter storm.  Now by almost anyone's measure, it was admittedly a small and tame storm: three or four inches of snow, with almost no ice.  Of course all the meteorological soothsaying in the world will do no good when you need to pull out of a driveway shaped like a skating ramp that opens up to a state highway.

Well, the afternoon after the snowfall, I had to get out of the house.  Not because I had cabin fever or anything, but because I had to drive a little over a mile to get to where my laptop could pick up a free, public WiFi signal.  Apparently internet access is just too great of a luxury to have at home.

I brushed off my car, started it to warm up the engine, and when it was ready, I grabbed my computer and jumped in.  Usually getting up the relatively short driveway is no problem, but just a week prior, my mother broke a sideview mirror off her car when she hit black ice on the way up and the car slid back down and hit a fencepost on the way.  Needless to say, I felt the need to be a bit more cautious than usual.

The car performed admirably, and I did not break anything off of it by being too close to the fence.  In fact, the car did not even momentarily slip on the melted snow which was quickly refreezing as ice.  At that moment though, I had a revelation.

I was summiting the crest of the hill, passing the slippery part and quickly approaching the open road, when I realized that I was ferociously biting my lower lip.  My teeth were clenched in an apprehensive and anxious fashion, while my lip was pinned down and to the side.  At that moment, cresting the hill with a firm clench of my lower lip, I discovered an alternative explanation for the origin of the White Man Overbite.

For those who do not know, the White Man Overbite is a phenomenon in which one bites his own lower lip, usually out of excitement, but often also out of fear or apprehension.  It is most often observed when a white man is operating a motor vehicle and his favorite song comes on the radio, which itself usually contains a stellar guitar riff. 

Because of the Overbite's usual association with rock music, I had always assumed that it was no more than a visceral reaction to face-melting electric guitar, and I analyzed it no further.  While this still may be true, my experience summiting the icy driveway gave me an alternative explanation for the origin of this great phenomenon. 

In reality, the White Man Overbite may be traceable to the white dudes of yore, who often needed to summit slippery slopes in vehicles in which they had little confidence.  Today, that would be an old car (as was the case for me). Before that, however, it may have been a horseless carriage or streetcar, and before that, a horse and either a carriage or sleigh.  Sitting in my old car, I could imagine a man in a much older mode of transportation facing a similar or even greater challenge, and overbiting in the exact same way.  While my experience in the car happened in 2013, comparable experiences may have been had centuries before the dawn of rock music, making the Icy Hill Overbite much older than the now-famous This-Is-My-Song! Overbite.

Perhaps we will never know the true origin of the White Man Overbite.  Was it first created by old man braving a treacherous mountain pass with horse and carriage?  Or was it first sported by a dude losing his mind hearing the last two minutes and twenty-five seconds of Stairway to Heaven?  The world may never know for sure.  What I do know, however, is that that trusty little overbite helped me out of the driveway that fateful day, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Word of the Day

Today's Word of the Day is:

East Coast Elite (n.)

Anyone who graduated high school

Man's best friend and wildlife's worst enemy

Well, the question is settled.  Dogs are still Man's best friend, and cats - well the BBC has the scoop on that.  Apparently, cats are the most devastating affliction in the United States. 

Ahhh, vindication. 

Left: Man's best friend.  Right: Guardian of the underworld

More from the BBC here.

Word of the Day

Today's Word of the Day is:

Trustafarian (n.)

One who has the luxury of living a carefree life, working at an easy job without benefits, and dressing like it's 1991 thanks to the reservoir of cash left by a parent who sold his or her soul working all his or her life as a doctor, lawyer, or other professional in order to provide for his or her offspring


Ex:
I wish I could just work at a bookstore and wear a poncho all day like Bob.  He's never stressed out.
You know he doesn't just work there, right?  He owns the place, and owns his own house.
What?! How?!
He's a serious trustafarian.

Word of the Day

Today's Word of the Day is:

Irish Support (n.)

The litany of sarcasm and jeering that follows otherwise normal words of support

Ex:
Why don't you take some time off?  You've been working too hard. 
*Takes time off*
Ohhh is somebody taking some time off?!  Is somebody tired?  Is somebody a tired baby?

A Little more winter in New England

Snapped this shot while out hiking with my dog in Western Massachusetts. By this point we had hiked about 3 miles from the house through the woods, then the trail let us out just about here. No matter what you do, your standards for life, beauty, and aesthetics will always be high - perhaps too high - when you grew up in a storybook.

Word of the Day

Today's word of the day is a special pet peeve of the Liberal Lumberjack:

"Business Community" (n.)

Friendlier-sounding code developed by PR execs to put a softer, more human facade on what would have been previously referred to as "business interests", "moneyed interests", or "corporate interests"

Ex: I can't stand hearing news reporters use the term "business community".  Right, as if anything going on in the news is going to have a negative impact on a poor little community of real people - whose members just happen to wear suits.

A note on men's fashion

This is known as a western plaid shirt.  Because of its two characteristic sideways/diagonal cut pockets with buttoned flaps, its typically slim cut, and because of its incredible popularity among underweight young men in the 1970s, it is not to be worn.






This is an appropriate men's plaid shirt, with one, normal cut pocket on the left hand side. 

You're welcome, America!

1,000 views this morning!

This morning, my fledgling little blog here hit its 1,000th unique view!  This has all been within a month since I first started it give or take.

Thanks to everyone for reading!  Its nice to know of few of you enjoy my rants and raves.  I hope that in the next 1,000 we'll see a lot more comments on the blog itself and shares on social media.

Thank you all again! 

Word of the Day

Today's Word of the Day is:

Contrarian (n.)

A person who craving attention assumes an opposing or controversial position solely for the attention it will afford him

Ex: Did you see that guy who said on national news he thinks women shouldn't be able to drive?!  Yeah, but please ignore him.  He's just a contrarian trying to drum up some attention so he can plug his new book. 

This is why Americans are angry

To the many, many people who do not follow politics - or who at least do not follow closely - this is the reason why so many Americans are angry at Washington today, be they conservative, liberal, or other. The Vice President of the United States, second in line to head the executive branch and duly elected to office, is sitting down with the NRA and Wal-Mart to discuss gun control.

So a very highly-positioned elected official has to meet with the non-elected members of a special interest group and a large, for-profit corporation before taking meaningful action to help the people of this country.  This same thing happened prior to the passage of the ACA ("Obamacare") when the President himself gave speaking time to the insurance industry - to make it all somehow seem "fair" or "bipartisan".  In both instances, it reeks of corruption and corporatism.

This is the sort of thing that makes people in the left and right wings start to sound alike.  Cries of "corporate rule!" "oligarchy!" and "corruption!" emanate from both sides of the ideological line.  And though I do still respect and support the President, and do still think the VP is, well, hilarious, moments like this make it very hard for me to refute the allegations made by conspiracy theorists of both wings.  At best, this is a demonstration of weakness in the face of corporate and special interest political pressure.  At worst, this truly is corporatism and corruption at full stop.

Original story from Politico here.

New England apparently not part of the United States

A friend of mine recently shared a story about the Republican Party's official website striking New England and its six states from the map of the United States on its "Republicans in Congress" contact page.  Fortunately, since that story was published and received over 2,000 comments, that Grand Ol' Party has put us back on the map.

The indecency.

This all smacks of the "real 'Merrkuh" versus "Northeast elites" nonsense we have all had to suffer, and I was hoping its boiling-over period would only consume the decade of the 2000's.  I guess not.

The 2000, 2004, and 2008 elections were all replete with politicians, television shows, commentators, and others pitting "real 'Murrkuh" against the "elites", "the East Coast", and and the "Northeast".  We are talking about election years, and they weren't even clever enough to use code or double speak!

I dealt with it in 2000, contributed to it personally on a local level for the Northeast side in 2004, and then grew simultaneously indignant and fatigued in 2008.  By then, it was already old news, and those claiming to be representatives of "real 'Merrkuh" had already reduced themselves to mere caricatures of themselves. 

I spent much of that election cycle and the time thereafter thinking to myself (and often saying aloud) who the hell is this woman from Alaska to proclaim herself a "real 'Murrkin" and declare us un-American?! 

If we are to take off the gloves, then let's have at it.

Alaska became a U.S. state just before my parents were born, which is to say, well within living memory.  I cannot delve into everything New England contributed to America in the 330 years before that date, but let's just do a brief re-cap for the state of my birth, Massachusetts: The Mayflower Compact, The Adams', The Kennedys, Lexington and Concord, - well, this could go on a while.  Secondly, and far more personally, here was a politician claiming to be a "real 'Murkin" who did not even know what happened at Lexington and Concord.  Disqualified!

The woman from Alaska was not alone.  In fact, she was in good company.  And if we are to be honest, it was the Bush family (no doubt with copious amounts of input from Rove & Co.) who, nearly a decade prior, ripped open the wounds of the Civil War and tore them westward across states not yet existent in 1861.  

Some Perspective: A Crude Timeline of American History

The simple fact of the matter is that the East Coast, and especially the Northeast, founded America.   This is not a political statement; it is historical fact.  The most succinct (and by far the most vulgar) appraisal of this can be found here, still online from the loss of 2004 (Warning: lots of F-bombs).

Now unlike the incendiary politicos who have stoked this fire, I am not writing this now to add fuel to the flames.  America, in its vast diversity of cities, peoples, climates, and geographies, cannot afford to be distilled to a monoculture.  There cannot forever be a dominant region or a capital and hinterland.  To continue down that road only breeds resentment, discontent, and a lack of national cohesion.

America is simply too vast, even in this modern era, to be reduced to a single feeling, sound, or flavor.  We are united by a shared philosophy and civic citizenship, not by a shared culture or way of life.

My America is one of hills, forests, colonial cemeteries and pre-Revolution farmhouses.  I have white Christmases, rainy springs, brightly-colored autumns and breezy, warm summers.  I have maple syrup, cheddar, and chowder, and I have a manner of speaking which some of my fellow Americans have informed me is exceedingly formal.

A Texan, Floridian, or Californian would find all of these elements of culture and climate foreign in their America.  Should any one of them spend a year in my life, they would often feel almost as homesick as if they had in fact crossed a border into another land.  The currency and television networks would all be the same, but the food, accents, and customs would all be quite different.

Whose America is more American?  I dare not say.  We cannot marginalize, nor can we homogenize any one of our states or regions.  To do so would not only cause further political polarization, but it would deprive us all of the unique constellation of regional cultures, cuisines, and accents that comprise this country.

And to the arms dealers and fuel suppliers of the culture wars, to the folks who still insist that somewhere south or west of here is the "real 'Murrkuh", I will close with this:

People in glass houses should not throw stones.

Word of the Day

Today's Word of the Day is:

Overload (n.)

The state of being in which one who has been studying, training, or working on a specific project or focus for so long he or she loses the capacity to think about only one thing at a time, and everything becomes the proverbial ball of wax.

Ex:  I have been through so many thousand pages it all looks the same.  I'm in overload. 

Bowie again at last!

For those who do not know, today, January 8, is David Bowie's birthday (less importantly, it is also Elvis').  What is even more surprising is that Bowie has just today released a new single for the first time in around a decade, with an album to follow.

After a health scare in 2004, Bowie stopped touring and making music.  And now that it is 2013, it really has been a decade since his last studio release, Reality.  I write this with sincere shock and amazement since I can remember exactly where and when I bought the CD nearly 10 years ago, in the fall of 2003.

The BBC has the story and excepts from the new music video here, as well as a fun piece, 66 facts about David Bowie for his 66th birthday.  Enjoy.

Small step forward for diversity on Capitol Hill

It truly is sad that this is even news.  It is now the year 2013, 1/5 of Americans no longer buy into organized religion, and the 113th Congress has ten (10!) members who do not claim any religious affiliation at all.

To put that into perspective, that means that for roughly 62,000,000 out of 309,000,000 people, there are 10 out of 535 people who may, vaguely, if at all, come close to representing their views on the Hill.

Regardless of personal views on religion or lack thereof, it truly is despicable that a fifth of the country cannot have adequate representation in Congress.  If such were the case for a sizeable religious minority in 2013 (and by this I mean individuals who would reply to a survey on religious affiliation with some sort of affirmative answer) the public outcry would be deafening. 

Charlie Mahtesian of Politico has a post regarding this on his blog.  He seems to see it as glass half-full: the 112th Congress only had 6 members who did not claim a religious affiliation.  Perhaps he is correct to do so.  I just hope that the process of diversifying Congress begins to accelerate as we move into the 21st Century.  More from Politico here.

Word of the Day

Today's Word of the Day is:

Pandemonium (n.)

The pre-apocalyptic state of utter chaos and turmoil which exists on the floor of a Trader Joe's in an upscale neighborhood on a Friday evening.

Ex: Did you see the pandemonium inside that store?!  It's like Hipsters Gone Wild!  Yeah, I'll wait until Monday when everyone is at work.