In honor of the Royal Baby

Right now, America and the whole world seem to be paying more attention to Kate Middleton's dilating cervix than even her own personal team of medical professionals. The fixation is disgusting.  For one thing, this is a private moment for Kate and her follicularly challenged prince. For another, the fixation itself is demonstrative of just how out of whack people's news priorities are.

So in honor of the world'st most watched fetus, here is a brief list of real fucking news stories and issues that are of more importance than the birth of a child to a couple thousands of miles away whom you will never ever meet.  None of the following is in any particular order.

International:

• Famine
• AIDS
• Climate change
• Desertification 
• Overpopulation
• Air pollution
• Access to clean drinking water
• Mass fucking starvation

Domestic (US):

• Corporate corruption of the entire political process
• Seizure of private property through eminent domain by private energy corporations
• Healthcare reform (ACA is only a first step)
• Corruption and conflicts of interest on the Supreme Court
• Wholesale purchasing of statehouses by ALEC
• Crumbling infrastructure
• Soaring youth unemployment
• Degradation of workers' rights

Or, if you want to stop thinking about any of these things, or even never begin thinking about them to begin with, enjoy your Royal Baby.

BBC World News