DISCLAIMER: The author of this blog is not a licensed professional lumberjack, and by no means intends any posts on this blog to serve as professional advice on tree felling, log splitting, firewood cutting, or any other woodsman activity. Always consult your local lumberjack for any of your timber or firewood needs.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Of dogs and leashes


This is Cupid.  She is just over three years old.  She is a half Beagle, half Dachshund mix.  She has a memory like a steel trap, the biggest personality (in a very small size) and an amazing hound dog howl.  She is fiercely loyal, and cannot bear to spend a night without cuddling with one of us.

She was also almost brutally killed last Thursday.

Like every other day, I leashed up Cupid with her red leash and harness.  At the sight of her matching set, she howled up in the air as if to announce the exciting beginning of the fox hunt, and after jumping into her harness, she led me out the door and down the road. 

Our walk was relaxing and proceeded without incident, until we approached a house at the end of the road.  A large dog leaped out of the front door almost without warning.  Just a second later, a young woman exited the same door.  I called to her, asking her to call off her dog.  Unfortunately, she replied with the same line I have heard far too many times: "He's fine!"  I started to walk the other way to avoid the dog and respect what he perceived to be his territory.  Still, the young woman did nothing.  What was to ensue was simply horrifying.

The dog jumped Cupid, picking her up into the air in one swift movement.  He pierced her ear and the side of her neck with his fangs and violently shook her from side-to-side, attempting to break her neck under the weight of her own body.  The entire attack was so fast it was almost a blur.  I kicked the attacking dog once in the ribs - entirely ineffective as he was already moving in the same direction as my foot.  I screamed at him to break his concentration, which also failed.  Luckily, almost soon as the attack started, the same young woman came from behind the dog and pulled him away as my dog was thrown into the dirt, looking into my eyes while howling and screaming in agonizing pain. I fear that if the attack lasted a half second (or one thrash) longer, little Cupid's neck would have snapped.  To be completely honest, I am still astonished I did not spend Thursday night burying her. 

.  .  .

Unfortunately, this is far from an isolated incident.  In fact, the only thing that makes it unique is the violent extremes to which another dog went in its attack.  You see, almost every single time I walk my dog, we are both confronted by other dogs whose owners have refused to keep them on a leash, despite being in public areas which demand the leashing of dogs at all times.  Every single time, I hear the same refrain from the owner: "He's fine!"  At least half of those times, he is very much not fine.

It has become an absurdity how often I am left to fend for myself as I break up dog fights initiated by an animal owned by a complete stranger.  What is just as absurd is how often other dog owners become angry with me over my frustration with them and their out-of-control dog.  I was even once told, "Geez, he's a nice dog!"  Niceness is not something I think about when a pair of fangs is just inches from my femoral artery.

Regardless of where you stand on the ridiculous should-you-leash-your-dog debate, the simple fact remains that anyone, whether with a dog or by his or herself, has the right to walk in a public place without being assaulted.  Period.  If a human were to jump you on a sidewalk or trail, you would promptly find an officer of the law and have that individual arrested.  Still, many dog owners do not see the parallel, and they allow their dogs to run ahead and jump other people or their dogs.  I am very much a dog person, but it is never my responsibility to control your dog.  It is yours.

This attack is also unique in that for me, it is the absolute last straw.  It was bad enough having to be worried about being jumped by out-of-control dogs, but now my own dog was almost killed, and the long-term extent of her spinal injuries have yet to be determined.  I used to half-joke that I would stop worrying and the next time we are assaulted, I would just sue the owner whose dog drew first blood - especially if the blood were my own.  I now have a different approach.  Now I walk with a heavy, sturdy walking stick - and not just because the uneven terrain of the hills and woods is my favorite place to walk.

Of course, I would rather not ever have to resort to self-defense.  I would rather that other people simply follow the law and local municipal ordinances.

.  .  .

If you have a dog, or have friends who do, please see to it that they are leashed.  Everyone's dog is a good dog who would never be violent - that is never to its own family. And lest you think I am whining about nothing or that I am being melodramatic in my plea here, scroll back up and look at Cupid.  Now imagine a large dog who was "fine" and who was "friendly" - and who was trying to tear off one of those ears and snap her neck in mid-air.

That was my Thursday afternoon walk.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Snow in March


So this is it!  It is already mid/late March, officially spring, and this is what it is looking like in New England.  I do love winter, but this is a bit much considering it will be April in a little over a week.

One thing is for sure: I take back any complaining I did at the beginning of this winter for there being a lack of snow.  Winter may have come a little late this time around, but once it arrived, it did indeed make itself comfortable.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Maple syrup addiction: an international crisis

This is why I cannot make fun of Canada.  As a New Englander, I really, truly feel I do not have a leg on which to stand.  How could I?  Snow, beaches with water too cold to swim in, aaaaaand this:




To be completely honest, if I didn't get so damn hypoglycemic, I would drink the stuff straight from the bottle, put it in my coffee, and pour it all over every meal, three meals a day.  For that matter, my life will not be complete until I distill from the sacred maple tree a beverage all my own - preferably at or above 7% ABV.

Winter beauty



This is why I absolutely love winter.  Not an arctic winter, not a plains winter, but a true, beautiful New England winter.  This is what life itself should look like.

In case you disagree, try the following.  Click on the photo above, maximize it on your screen if you can, and look at it.  Really look at it.  Now try to be anxious or stressed.  Try!  You can't! 

Now you don't need to get up and go to that yoga class.  You're welcome.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Another storm coming

Another storm is fast approaching the Northeast.  It is set to begin Saturday night, with some areas seeing a foot of accumulation by the next afternoon.

Although this could not come at a more inconvenient time for me, I still accept and appreciate it.  It is what makes this season unique, and it is an important feature of this little part of the world.  Unfortunately, not everyone shares this feeling.

For those ignorant enough to wait for and indeed embrace global climate change as a great thing that will turn Vermont into Venezuela, Massachusetts into Miami, and Connecticut into Cancun, I have a suggestion:  don't wait!  Book your flights in advance, get to that great infernal weather sooner, and save some money!  Below are some rates from Priceline.


That's right!  Stop your complaining, stop wishing winter would disappear, and instead make yourself disappear!  It is much easier to do, and indeed it is much easier on my ears. 

So now that I have done you the favor of conveying this precious information, please do me a solid and stop your incessant whining.  No one has hogtied you and forced you to sit through winter after winter.  If you are a US citizen, you have the right to live in or at least visit damn near every biome known to humankind. I'd suggest you take advantage of that fact.

You may of course also simply ignore me.  Feel free to do so.  But please be advised that I will feel equally free to walk away from you unannounced, mid-conversation, the next time you subject me to your childish bellyaching.  Have a great weekend!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Follow up on New England Accents

Remember the post on New England accents from several weeks back?  Well, this person, who at the time was actually writing a thesis on the subject, has done a much better job of dissecting all of the region's accents, variations of accents, etc.  I must give credit where it is due, and believe me, it is due here

Now of course this other person's bit is much more academic and a lot less humorous, but it is still worth a read if you get a second.  He takes a look at the history of the accents, where they are geographically centered, and how one of them (New Hampshire) is declining.  It is in no way the anecdote-filled page of jokes which I have written on the subject, but it is engrossing in its own right.

On a side-note, I love the fact that the photo he has in his post is actually a view from Mt. Sugarloaf, a five-minute drive from my family's place. 

Word of the Day

Today's Word of the Day is:

Whogivesashit? (interj.)

What any reasonable person feels absolutely compelled to exclaim whenever confronted with irrelevant and sensationalist news stories such as:
-the famous amputee runner who killed his girlfriend thousands of miles from here
-the naked art exhibit in Vienna (Seriously, it's in Austria. Is anyone surprised?)
-the dude who put a couch in his igloo (Who hasn't thought about doing that after being snowed in for days and killing a case of beer?)